


King and Lionheart

by spirithorse



Series: Tales from Britannia [1]
Category: Code Geass
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:25:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spirithorse/pseuds/spirithorse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of drabbles for Suzalulu Week from 2/10-2/15.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Reclaim Your Crown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt duty. Title take from King by Lauren Aquilina.

Suzaku stood by the back door of the school clubhouse, keeping his breathing steady. It was like standing at attention for hours, waiting for the Britannians to remember that there were Honorary Britannians waiting to be reviewed. It was better than taking deep breaths to keep himself calm. That would just remind him of what he was doing at Ashford when he should have been back at the Administrative Building.

The reception for his knighting was long over, not that it had been anything worthwhile. It had mostly just been Euphemia escorting him around and introducing him to the nobles that he would need to know. Whether the nobles were for or against Euphemia Suzaku had yet to learn, which was why he should have been back at the building.

He should have been going over the folders and notes that had been left for him. He should have been getting ready for his duties as Euphemia’s knight. Instead, he was sneaking around the clubhouse like he didn’t belong there, hoping that he would be able to find Lelouch and speak to him. He was equally as hopeful that he would miss Lelouch altogether and what he had to say would fall by the wayside.

Lelouch was smart, smarter than Suzaku ever could be. He should have known by now, or at least begun to figure it out. That would explain why Lelouch had been pulling away from him over the last few days, and much to Suzaku’s relief. If they were parting ways, then it meant that he wouldn’t be spending his nights thinking over what he should do or what he actually wanted. Because it was hard and far beyond what he ever wanted to do.

He sighed, going to turn around and leave when the door opened. Suzaku froze when Lelouch peered around the door, wanting nothing more than to run off and laugh off the incident later. But he couldn’t move, not with Lelouch slowly opening the door and looking him up and down. It was a familiar motion, with an unfamiliar expression.

Suzaku was horribly aware of the fact that he was still in the uniform from his knighting, suddenly uncomfortable in the white pants and jacket. It would have been easier to show up in his pilot uniform and explain to Lelouch he had been lying about the engineering corps, it would have been something he could do. Rushing over to the clubhouse had been the worst idea he could have.

He took a step back, not sure  if he was still trying to run away or just giving Lelouch room to step out. Neither of them took either route, just standing in place at staring at each other. Even then, it took Lelouch a moment to recover himself and for the hurt look on his face to disappear.

Lelouch cleared his throat, opening the door to his fullest and stepping to the side. “Would you like to come in?”

Suzaku heard the hesitation in the invitation, relieved that he was given the chance to run if he wanted to. And Suzaku wanted nothing more than to run. Lelouch would be able to fill in the gaps himself, Suzaku was sure of it. Just like he was sure that he and Lelouch would never talk to each other again after it. They would see each other at school, maybe even acknowledge each other’s presence, but nothing like they had been before. It was what he had wanted when he came to Ashford, but it wasn’t what he wanted now.

He plastered a smile on his face, sure that Lelouch could tell that it was fake from the way that Lelouch shrunk a little closer to the door. His smile faltered and he defaulted to military posture. That didn’t seem to help matters either, but at least Lelouch didn’t look like he wanted to slam the door in his face anymore. Now Lelouch just looked like he wanted to punch him, although Suzaku was sure that he could catch anything that Lelouch threw at him.

“Yeah.” The answer came out as a sigh. Suzaku didn’t bother flinching, just shuffling forward into the clubhouse.

Lelouch shut the door behind him, pushing past Suzaku. He went to reach out for his friend, Lelouch quick to dart around him. Suzaku was left with his hand hanging in the air.

“Nunnally is asleep, so we’ll talk in my room…if you want to talk at all.”

“Lelouch…”

“You shouldn’t have come here to show off.” Lelouch paused at a corner, glancing back over his shoulder at Suzaku. “I wouldn’t have thought you would stoop to that. I thought I knew you. I guess I don’t, not anymore.”

Lelouch disappeared around the corner, leaving Suzaku standing out in the sun room, staring after him. Lelouch had always been easy to anger, but Suzaku usually knew what he had done wrong, or Lelouch would make sure that he knew. There was no point to the sharp jibes if Suzaku didn’t even know what they were for. That he wasn’t bothering to try meant that he was really and truly angry, not even bothering to make sure that Suzaku was following him.

The fact that it was real anger, one that wouldn’t burn out quickly, made Suzaku follow after Lelouch. His friend would never do anything that would bother Nunnally. In the end, it was Suzaku’s own curiosity that drove him.

He walked quickly down the corridor, glad of the carpet that muffled the sound of his boots. Nunnally was a sound sleeper, she always had been; but that depended on her being asleep. Nunnally might have been obedient to Lelouch, but she was a young girl and there would be some kind of rebellion, even if it was staying up a few hours. Still, he didn’t need to add Nunnally into the mix, not when Lelouch wasn’t in his right mind. He would lash out at her for all Suzaku knew, and then Lelouch would be miserable and mad.

The door to Lelouch’s room slid open, Suzaku not having to look too hard to find Lelouch. His friend was sitting on the edge of his bed, glaring at his chess set like it would solve all of his problems, or like it was the cause of them. The pieces weren’t set up like they were in a game, just scatted across the board like it had been knocked into. The more likely explanation was that Lelouch had swept his hand across it, it was a dramatic move that Lelouch would do. Suzaku took a step forward, freezing when his boot landed on something on the floor.

He raised his foot, staring at the white knight. The piece was quite a distance from the rest of the board, probably not swept off like the rest. This one had been thrown, probably at the door. Suzaku set his foot down carefully to one side, nudging the piece aside with the toe of his boot. The real question was when Lelouch had thrown it, before or after Suzaku had shown up.

Suzaku came to stand at the end of the bed, having to make an effort not to fall into parade rest. It was especially hard with how aware he was that he was still in uniform. The school uniform fit different, felt different. The uniform of a knight was heavier, far heavier that Suzaku had expected it to be. He didn’t bother to sit on the bed, he had to be invited for that.

Lelouch didn’t look up at him, Suzaku partially resolved to wait him out. But, when the silence kept on for a while Suzaku lost his patience. He could be as patient as he needed to be in the Lancelot, but not outside of it.

“What do you mean?” Suzaku watched as Lelouch sighed, his shoulders slumping. For a moment, it looked like Lelouch would just remain silent, keeping him out until Suzaku lost what little patience he had. He stepped forward, until his legs bumped against the bed. “Tell me, Lelouch.”

“It’s been seven years, Suzaku.” Lelouch laughed brokenly, almost hysterically. “Did we just think that everything could go back to the way it was?”

“It was working before.”

“Was it?” Lelouch raised his voice, only to wince and looked down at the ground again Suzaku saw his friend’s hands tighten as Lelouch grabbed at himself. “Or were we just pretending this entire time. We both wanted everything to go back to the way it was when we were ten, so we just acted like nothing had happened. The war, you in the army, none of that happened. And we can’t do that, we can’t go back. You can’t just live in the past, no matter how much you want to. You just can’t.”

Suzaku stared at him, wanting to laugh or shout, but he couldn’t because Nunnally was asleep down the hall. He took a deep breath, trying to keep himself calm. Quiet anger was not his thing, it had always been easier to rage aloud and lash out because it was better than just bottling it up. Suzaku already had enough trouble not blurting out to Lelouch that he had killed his father at times, times when it hurt too much to keep quiet. Silent rage was Lelouch’s thing. Lelouch could keep his anger in until it turned into poison.

He clenched his hands into fists, trying to keep his voice steady as he spoke. “I tried in the beginning, but you wouldn’t let me. I wanted to walk away and just leave you two in peace. But you pushed me back in and…What made you think that I wanted like before?”

Suzaku was aware that his voice cracked over the question but he was beyond caring. He was exhausted from a long day of carefully toeing the line, aware that there were thousands of proper standards that he wasn’t aware of but couldn’t let himself step over. He was tired of looking at people and seeing how much they just wanted him gone. And he was tired of fighting with Lelouch, because it seemed that it was all they did anymore.

It was always the same track too, about Zero or about how Suzaku would achieve peace, like Lelouch was trying to goad him into something but was not willing to push it to the last stage. On top of all the lies and the careful misdirection on his part, Suzaku was tired of it all. He wished that they had chosen a better time to argue about this, probably not when Nunnally was already asleep, but he couldn’t regret the fact that they were finally getting to the real problems between them instead of brushing them aside again.

On his part, Lelouch looked ready to shout back at him, but Suzaku stepped forward before his friend could speak. “This isn’t like before, Lelouch, and you know it. Before we wouldn’t have…” He trailed off, looking at Lelouch’s bed. From the way Lelouch followed his gaze and then flinched, Suzaku knew that his friend understood.

Whatever had started up between them had been accidental at first, a long lazy day of leaning against each other that had turned into a kiss or two. And then, the kisses were accidental or lazy. Then it had been afternoons of the two of them rushing back to the clubhouse between the council meeting and when Suzaku had to report back to base, falling into bed together with clothes still sometimes half on. None of it had been accidental nor had it been like the way they were in the past.

Suzaku ran a hand over his face, taking a step back from the bed. He didn’t want to have to deal with that at the moment, not when it was better to just retreat from the situation entirely. He had been wrong to seek out Lelouch. Just because he was wading into a world of royalty didn’t mean that Lelouch would be happy for him. Suzaku should have remembered that Lelouch held what he considered his very closely. Advice would be out of the question for a few weeks, which meant that Suzaku would just have to fumble around until he figured out what he was doing. So there went his plan of trying to seem competent to not embarrass Euphy.

“I don’t have time for this, Lelouch. I have duties to attend to in the morning. We can shout at each other later.” He saw Lelouch stand up in surprise out of the corner of his eye as he turned, but he ignored it.

It was weird to be the first one to pull away from an argument. Usually it was Lelouch, probably getting tired of the way that Suzaku would refuse to move away from a single point, or Lelouch had already thought out their argument to its end and had made a tactically retreat before he lost. Suzaku had never been able to tell. It had annoyed him whenever it happened, because it meant that they would just go back to stewing until one of them hit their breaking point again. In this case it was probably better, because Lelouch was refusing to move on his point and Suzaku couldn’t be made to move anymore. The knighting ceremony was final, he had agreed and made his vows, there was no way he could turn back.

Suzaku had just come for the reassurance that he was doing the right thing. That was easier than explaining everything else, like how he was pretty sure that he was falling in love with Euphy, which didn’t make sense. He wasn’t out of love with Lelouch, he was just tired of carefully stepping around the subjects that they couldn’t talk about. Maybe if they just talked for once it would make a difference.

He was stopped as Lelouch grabbed onto his arm, giving it a tug like that alone would keep Suzaku back. He stopped anyway, because Lelouch wouldn’t have reached out for him in any other circumstances. Lelouch would have sulked or just let him go. Suzaku sighed and shook his head. “Lelouch-”

“Just tell me why you came to show off.”

“I didn’t.” Suzaku took a step back to relieve the tension in his arm. “ _You_  would do that. I came because I know  _nothing_  about how to be a knight. I’m just an Honorary Britannian.”

“Japanese.”

Suzaku glared at Lelouch, knowing his friend too  well to believe it would silence him. “I’m just a Warrant Officer.”

Lelouch let go of his arm. “They didn’t give you the title?”

“It’s more of a job description than a title.”

“Bastards.” Lelouch sat down heavily on the bed, curling in on himself. Suzaku could easily imagine Lelouch storing the slight as another grievance against Britannia, another thing to stew over until it became poison.

Suzaku chuckled, coming to stand by the foot of the bed. “Even I didn’t think they would give that to me, and I’m usually the optimistic one.”

It didn’t seem to help, but Lelouch shrunk into himself instead of raging like Suzaku had expected. For once, he seemed to be willing to talk.

Lelouch rubbed the bridge of his nose, finally breathing out a long sigh. “I would have fought for you, if you were my knight.”

That was the crux of the problem. Suzaku shook his head and looked around the room. It all came down to Lelouch being too possessive of things he thought were his. Knowing his friend Lelouch had already thought of a scheme to knight him, but Euphy had stepped in before Lelouch could implement it. That could also be something that was bugging Lelouch; that he had been beaten out by his  sister. Still, it was kind of touching that Lelouch was angry for his sake. There were only a few people who actually cared about him enough for that.

He pulled off of his coat, tossing it onto the sofa. He ignore the way that Lelouch winced, choosing to flop down on the bed next to Lelouch He knocked his shoulder against Lelouch’s. “You’d have to be a prince to have that, and I don’t think that’s something you want.”

“Not being a prince protects Nunnally, but taking it all back would help you. It’s an impossible choice.”

It wasn’t and they both knew it. Lelouch would chose Nunnally every time, something that Suzaku had long since adjusted to. The fact that Lelouch considered it was nothing new either; Lelouch considered all of the angles. Still, it looked like Lelouch desperately wanted to pretend that it was true.

Suzaku smiled and cupped Lelouch’s cheek. “I can protect myself.”

“I doubt that.” Lelouch scoffed, but the sound was soft, almost fond. And he was leaning into Suzaku’s hand.

Suzaku smiled and began to pull off his boots, having to pull away from Lelouch to accomplish it. “Then how would I take care of you, if I was your knight?”

For a moment, it looked like Lelouch had forgotten that they were playing pretend, like they had when they were kids. Then Lelouch reined himself in, Suzaku giving his friend a soft smile. Lelouch shook his head, reaching out to play with the hem of Suzaku’s shirt. “If everything was different, and I asked-”

“I would have.” It wasn’t a lie. Suzaku would have jumped at the chance because being with Lelouch was easy. He would have to learn Euphy in a way that he already knew Lelouch. “I wouldn’t have hesitated.”

“I probably wouldn’t have needed to ask.” Lelouch reached up to traced his fingers down the side of Suzaku’s face. “You would have stood by my side, like always. It would have been as it should be.”

Suzaku pointedly didn’t answer, allowing that little bit of information to slip would be enough to stall Lelouch. But it didn’t even look like Lelouch was really paying attention to him. He was just staring at Suzaku like he was seeing right through him.

“Would you have?” There was a quaver in Lelouch’s voice that didn’t belong there. Suzaku frowned and leaned forward. Lelouch’s hand slipped into Suzaku’s hair, using the shift to pull Suzaku forward until their foreheads were touching. “Would you have become my knight?”

“Yes.” The word was whispered against Lelouch’s lips, jut a heartbeat before Suzaku pushed forward and bore them both back into the bed.


	2. What You Have and What is Yours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt forget. This is part of the Demons, Witches and Daemons verse. Title from King by Lauren Aquilina.

It was all a trick. That was the phrase that he had to keep repeating to himself. It was all a trick, all for Zero Requiem. It was all a part of his promise to Suzaku.

But none of that covered the reality of what was happening, the way it was so easy to let the act bleed into what he was actually feeling. Verisia was curled up in his arms instead of draping herself over his shoulders. His daemon wasn’t putting on her self assured act, trying to behave as much like Hrod as she remembered. Her face was pressed against the crook of his arm, which was probably better than peering over his shoulder at the gravestone. She had been doing that for the first part of the walk back, as long as she could see the headstone. During the entirety of the speech, she had been curled up on his arm, staring at the stone.

Verisia knew that they weren’t dead, she had been in on the planning all along. Lelouch only wished that he knew that she was faking. Their bond was filled with hurt and anger, the kind that couldn’t just be faked.

He stroked a hand down her back, surprised that Verisia didn’t react. Lelouch swallowed and looked up at the rest of the procession as they headed back to the Administrative Building.

With the capital in Pendragon completely destroyed with the FLEIJA, it was easier to just remain in Japan and carry out the last bits of his plan there. Besides, it was kind of fitting that everything would end where they had started. And Lelouch couldn’t imagine burying Suzaku anywhere other than Japan. It had been the one place they had been happy and Britannia had done nothing but hurt both Suzaku and Kasumi.

He hugged Verisia closer, hoping that he could get her to cheer up a bit. They were supposed to be acting, Lelouch knew that, but Verisia was taking it too far. Suzaku and Kasumi were alive and well, back at the Administrative Building. They were locked in their rooms with orders not to come out until they were back. They were  _alive_ , and that was all that mattered.

The procession began to dissolve as they reached the building, Lelouch pausing in the doorway as he watched everyone go. He hadn’t expected them to stick around, not when most of them had been hired for the occasion. No one wanted to mourn over the traitor knight, not when it was far easier to be relieved that he was gone. Now the Demon Emperor looked weak, without his ever present bodyguard. That’s what Lelouch wanted them to think, which made his position with all of the captives from the Battle of Mt. Fuji look better. He might have lost his knight, but he had won the war. That was the one thing that he wanted everyone to focus on. He needed the time to work on the final touches so everything would be ready when the end did come.

He started when Verisia jumped out of his arms, staring at his daemon as she took off into the building. Lelouch stood in the entrance to the building until the tug on their bond was too much to stand. Careful not to break out into a run, Lelouch followed after his daemon, not surprised to find that she was heading for their private residences.

He ignored the way that the servants bowed to him as he passed, or the way they ran off as soon as he was past. Lelouch was sure that C.C. would delight in telling him exactly what they were saying later, Coresin laughing on her shoulder the entire time. Lelouch had long since learned to ignore her unless she was saying something pertinent, but Verisia wouldn’t be in the mood for either of them. Lelouch didn’t want to try and break up a fight, not when he would be drawn into one. Not when Verisia was still flinging grief and anger through their bond.

Lelouch heard her claws skitter on hardwood, a sure sign that Verisia had reached the private wing. She had probably slipped through the door, which meant that it had been left partially open.

He felt a bolt of fear run down his spine. If the door had been left open, then it meant that someone could get in and see Suzaku. Or it meant that Suzaku could get out. Lelouch dropped all pretense of decorum, breaking out into a run.

He slammed the door closed behind him, gasping at the tug as Verisia finally got too far ahead of him. Lelouch stumbled to the side, bracing himself against the wall for a moment before pushing on. If he allowed himself to stay in place then he would fall into bond shock, something that he couldn’t allow himself to do until he reached Verisia or found out if Suzaku was safe. He would  _not_  have everything falling completely apart just because someone stumbled in on his secret. Lelouch wasn’t ready to change plans, not right after the funeral. He couldn’t figure out a way to spin the news that Suzaku wasn’t really dead, not at the moment.

Lelouch was brought out of his daze at the sound of scratching, rounding a corner to see Verisia trying to get into a room. He huffed in relief, scooping up Verisia and holding her close. He got a moment of peace before his daemon started struggling in his arms, trying to jump towards the door. Lelouch growled low under his breath, trying to get a better hold on his daemon just as the door swung open.

They both froze as they saw Suzaku standing there, Lelouch taking a moment to look down to watch as Kasumi nudged her way into the space between Suzaku’s leg and the door.

Lelouch lost his hold on Verisia then, his daemon jumping from his arms to where Kasumi stood. Both he and Suzaku flinched at the impact, the two daemons tumbling to the floor. Lelouch could see flashes of red fur as Verisia wound herself around Kasumi, ignoring the way that the Shikoku yelped in surprise.

A hard shake had Lelouch looking away from their two daemons to Suzaku. He wasn’t surprised when Suzaku quickly pulled his hand back. They weren’t enemies anymore, but Lelouch wasn’t sure that they were friends either. They had been both living in a nebulous state of being until Lelouch could fulfill all his promises to Suzaku. Any closeness between them was just out of habit.

They had been friends for seven years after all.

Lelouch ducked his head, trying to pull away when Suzaku kept a strong hold on him. He tried to roll his shoulder, frowning when Suzaku tried to follow. He resorted to the easiest way to deal with his friend, by pushing Suzaku’s hand off his shoulder and trying to settle back into the role as emperor. “Who left the door open?”

“At the end of the hall?” Suzaku leaned out of the room to stare down the hall. “Probably C.C. She got bored with watching the funeral and went out. She’s probably raiding the kitchens for something or terrorizing the staff. She’ll be back when the news comes around that you’ve gotten back.”

“Why?”

Suzaku shrugged. “Because you actually rise to her bait.”

Lelouch scoffed, pushing past Suzaku into the room. He didn’t bother to turn around to recognize the smile, because that would just lead to a bout of teasing that he was not in a mood for.

He made his way over the nearest chair and flopped down into it, watching as Verisia finally settled down, draped over Kasumi’s back. Lelouch was sure that Kasumi was giving Suzaku hopeful looks, but neither daemon seemed to want to complain. Verisia sighed happily and buried her nose into the Shikoku’s fur. The emotions that had been rushing through her side of the link abated then, Lelouch finally able to draw in breath.

It was like she had forgotten that the whole thing had been a ruse, that the coffin was empty and Kasumi was still very much alive. Then again, he didn’t blame her.

They had both forgotten about their plan in the rush of winning the battle. They had both been riding high on the victory that they had managed to achieve, at managing to beat Schneizel for the first time in their lives. In the end, Lelouch had been so tangled up in tying up everything that needed to be done at the battlefield that the messenger that had come running to him in a panic had managed to suck him into the same panic when the news had been delivered. It was embarrassing that he had managed to forget his own plan, but it was Suzaku and Kasumi; they were  _important_.

He curled his fingers over the armrests of the chair, watching as Suzaku paced carefully around the room. Absently, he noted that he would have to give Suzaku something to do or his friend would be up pacing their rooms like a caged animal. Maybe he and Kasumi could finally get over what had become wedged between them over the past year, or maybe they would just ignore that in the face of Zero Requiem. That was Suzaku and Kasumi all over.

Lelouch sighed and tipped his head back, staring at the ceiling as he let himself wind down from his panic. Everything was alright, and Verisia was finally content. He wouldn’t have to worry about the funeral anymore, all he had to do was act like he was mourning the loss of his knight. That wouldn’t be hard to do at all, because he wouldn’t have Suzaku by his side and he had gotten used to that. It had been a relief to have Suzaku there during some of the tougher moments of his short reign, even if Lelouch didn’t appreciate the bruises. They weren’t the same people from a year ago, they were relearning to be around each other, relearning the people that fighting each other had forced them to be.

He closed his eyes, just basking in the feeling of Verisia being content. It wasn’t perfect contentment, Nunnally and Sindri weren’t there and they wouldn’t be there again. Lelouch ignored the spark of pain through their bond, opening one  eye to glare at his daemon. They would have to get used to that fact, that Nunnally and Sindri hated the pair of them for what they had done. Just like they would have to get used to the fact that, soon, they would be leaving Suzaku and Kasumi as well.

Verisia snuggled further into Kasumi, like physical closeness could prevent everything they had planned. Lelouch didn’t have the strength to argue with her on that point, not when she had agreed to the plan with him. But that had been when they had been so desperate to have someone work with them. C.C. and Coresin had always been sure pieces, but not ones that they could move with to the end. Suzaku and Kasumi had been a resource that they needed, the ones that they desperately wanted with them to the end. After everything that had happened, there were so few left that they cared for that could still stand by their side.

Shirley and Biartr were gone, as were Rolo and Ileste. Nunnally and Sindri wanted nothing to do with them. They were out of people who could stand by them, and Lelouch refused to bring in any more of his Ashford friends. He had put them in enough danger already.

From her place on Kasumi’s back, Verisia made a soft noise of distress, drawing the Shikoku’s attention. Kasumi was quick to roll over, nudging Verisia into place by her side. The dog began grooming Verisia, tongue working in long strokes over the fox’s back. The motion was supposed to comfort, but Verisia was not having any of it, trying to bury herself back against Kasumi’s fur. And, all the while, Suzaku was staring at him.

Lelouch wanted nothing more than to wave off his knight’s concern, but he couldn’t. They would be leaving Suzaku in a few months, leaving him to watch over everything that they sat up. Lelouch was confident that Suzaku would be able to do it, he was trusting the fate of the world to the people that he trusted the most.

Even then, it was one fact that he would not allow either of he or Verisia to forget. In the end, they would be losing everyone permanently.

The thought drew another forlorn wail from Verisia, Lelouch about to get up and snatch his daemon away when Suzaku pushed him back into the chair.

“Don’t.” Suzaku rested his hands on Lelouch’s shoulders, light like they needed to be. Lelouch sighed and tipped his head so his cheek rested against one of Suzaku’s hands. “Not right now, Lelouch. Not after you buried me.”

“You’re still alive.”

“Yes, and so are you. Let us have that for a bit, okay?” Suzaku didn’t have to say that it would be too late within a matter of days. Lelouch sighed, enough of an answer for Suzaku. His knight sat down on the armrest of the chair, not moving the hand that Lelouch’s cheek had trapped. “Don’t go off planning just yet, stay with us.”

Lelouch gave into the request, leaning against Suzaku as he watched their daemons on the floor. Verisia was silent, lulled into calm by Kasumi’s attentions. She wasn’t even looking at him, too busy nuzzling into Kasumi’s side. Lelouch contented himself in watching the fall of Kasumi’s fur, feeling Suzaku’s thumb rub against his shoulder and cheek in time to Verisia’s nuzzling. He let himself fall into the content daze that their daemons were creating, letting his eyes flutter shut to better enjoy the sensation of Suzaku’s hand against his cheek and the one that he was getting through Verisia. It was the closest he would ever get to actually touching Kasumi, and he would take what he could before Zero Requiem came.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suzaku – Kasumi (Shikoku Dog)  
> Lelouch– Verisia (Red Fox)  
> Marianne – Hrod (Steller’s Sea Eagle)  
> C.C. – Coresin (Crow)  
> Nunnally – Sindri (Red Panda)  
> Shirley – Biartr (American Shorthair Cat)  
> Rolo – Ileste (Evening Bat)


	3. To Old Happenings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt photograph. Title taken from Haunt by Bastille

Suzaku lingered at the end of the hallway, well aware of how stupid he must look.

He was Zero, the one who had brought peace to the world with the death of the Demon Emperor. The one who had taken up the mantle of the knight of justice after his predecessor had fallen in battle in Japan. He was the symbol of freedom and the downfall of tyranny, all on Lelouch’s final orders. His friend’s final wishes. And he couldn’t bring himself to walk down a simple hallway, one that he had walked down many times while he had been in Pendragon.

He reached up to rub a hand over his face, stopping just before his fingers could tap against the mask. Usually, he was better at remembering. It wouldn’t do to have Zero looking confused during a press conference, then people would start to worry. There were already whispers that the world didn’t need Zero after all and the only thing that kept Suzaku going was the fact that the world kept being driven to the brink of war by countries that feared what a stable Britannia would do. Lelouch might have initiated the world peace, but they were all working to keep it going. And, for that, the world still needed Zero.

Suzaku Kururugi was still functioning only because Lelouch had wished it. Otherwise, Suzaku would take his death with grace.

He had just hoped that Lelouch would have done the same.

He had thought that Lelouch had gotten rid of all of his regrets, taken care of any unfinished business that could have held him back. All of the burial rites had been done correctly, even if most of the world had been clamoring to leave Lelouch’s body out to rot. Nunnally had only won because she was a mourning sister, and the world couldn’t deny their darling. They still couldn’t. But even after all of that, Lelouch had stayed behind.

Suzaku had just thought that the rumors of Lelouch’s ghost were just the talk of bored guards. He had avoided the hallway on principle, just because it brought up too many memories, both good and bad. It was easier to just act like Suzaku Kururugi was really dead and buried under the headstone in Japan. To acknowledge that Suzaku wasn’t dead would mean going back to the way that he had been during the first few years of Nunnally’s reign, when he had been barely able to function through the mire of his guilt. He had only hauled himself out of that mire because things had gotten busy with Nunnally restructuring Britannia, the royal wedding and the birth of the two heirs. There had never been enough time for a trip back down the hallway, not until he had stumbled upon the prince and princess running from the hall screaming.

A creak from the hallway had him jumping, Suzaku rolling his eyes and muttering a curse under his breath. It had been one stray encounter, one time and he was already jumpy. The ghost hadn’t even done anything to him, just kissed him before disappearing. In the grand scheme of things, it was nothing major, but it had been bothering Suzaku since it had happened.

It had been bothering Nunnally too, because she had kept Arthur and Euphy close since then. She had already sped up the plan to reconstruct the hallway, to change it into something else and wipe out all traces of her brother. Suzaku was sure that Nunnally was only doing it to protect her children, as well as put her brother to rest. He was not naïve enough to believe that he had been the only one who had suffered when Lelouch had died. Despite his best efforts, Lelouch hadn’t managed to make the entire world hate him.

Still, with the hallway about to be destroyed completely, Suzaku had to know. Nunnally might have been content to push on without asking questions, but Suzaku had never gotten a proper goodbye, at least not one that he was satisfied with. They had spent most of their last weeks arguing with each other, snapping at each other because there was no other way to deal with the stress of Zero Requiem. Even through all of that Suzaku had not hated Lelouch, although he hadn’t forgiven him. That had come around the time that Arthur had been born. There was some part of him that hoped that the ghost would been cognizant enough that Suzaku could finally give Lelouch that.

He took a quick breath, striding forward into the hallway. He was tempted to just stop in the middle of the hallway, where he had seen the ghost before, but he didn’t want to speak out in the open. Guards weren’t likely to wander toward the hallway, not after the last sighting, but Suzaku wasn’t going to chance it. He didn’t want a slip of his tongue to ruin everything that they had worked for. Everything that Lelouch had died for. He also wanted to take off the helmet, to keep the talk between two ghosts.

No one had changed the key code for Lelouch’s room, not surprising since no one had bothered to use the rooms since Lelouch had died. It was amazing that Suzaku could still remember it, although it was mostly muscle memory. He had spent a month wandering through the halls of the imperial palace at night after his death. He was surprised that there weren’t rumors about the ghost of the traitor knight roaming the halls to match the rumors of the emperor.

The door slid open, Suzaku stepping through and quickly shutting the door behind him. Even then he waited for the door to click shut before reaching back to remove the helmet.

As always, it was a relief to breath in fresh air without the two masks. Suzaku sucked in a deep breath through his nose as he settled the fabric around his neck. He stepped forward, leaving the mask on the nearest table.

Everything was covered in sheets, probably ready to be moved or to be burned, whatever Nunnally wanted. Suzaku was sure that the covers continued into the bedroom, but he wasn’t ready to step through. There were too many memories, too many things that Suzaku was not ready to sort through just yet. He could deal with revelations that concerned Lelouch in small doses, in between bouts of guilt, anger and a rush of activity that kept him going. It was easier to be Suzaku Kururugi back in his rooms, in an environment completely removed from the one he knew and Zero everywhere else.

He walked over to the couch that C.C. had loved to lounge on, tracing his fingers over the back of it. Across the room, he could see the desk where Lelouch had spent most of his time when he wasn’t trying to run every part of the empire by himself. And his place had always been behind it. Behind the desk and to the right, the proper knight’s position. Suzaku let his hands trail over the back of the couch as he made his way over to the covered desk, falling into his usual spot. From there, he surveyed the rest of the room, trying to remember a time when everything wasn’t covered by cloths and a thin layer of dust. It was hard, especially after so much had happened. He was in a room of ghosts.

Suzaku ducked his head with a weak chuckle. That was a strange thought, probably brought on by the room.

“Suzaku?”

He looked up abruptly at the sound of his name, his hands clenching on his side as he saw the ghost step out of the bedroom.

Lelouch had his head cocked to the side, a sleepy look on his face like he had just woken up. Suzaku sucked in a quick breath, watching as Lelouch shuffled further into the room before crossing his arms over his chest. There was a long pause, Suzaku wanting to say something but he was reluctant to. There was a chance that he would just talk and Lelouch wouldn’t respond. The ghost could be on a single track, reliving a single moment in his life. In the hallway, the ghost had reacted to him and the name Euphy, two things that had already been part of his life before. Suzaku wasn’t even sure that Lelouch had acknowledged their presence.

He swallowed and took a step back, intending to make his way around the room, just to get a better look at him. Lelouch looked just the same, still in his emperor’s regalia with the bloodstain on his abdomen. If Lelouch had been lying down, it would look just like the footage of the dead emperor. But he was standing up, the view that only Suzaku had gotten, the moment just after he had pulled the sword out of Lelouch and the blood had really stared to flow out.

Suzaku lowered his gaze to the floor, suddenly wishing that he had just returned to his room for the night. He didn’t want to be reminded of what he had done to Lelouch. He had done everything for the right reasons, he was sure of it. But that didn’t meant that he wanted to face what he had done, not while he was still coming to terms with everything. He had voluntarily killed his best friend, Suzaku was sure that he would never be able to recover from that.

“Suzaku?” There was a rustle from the doorway, followed by footsteps. He didn’t dare to look up until there was a cold touch to his cheek. He didn’t want to look up, but was coaxed to by gentle pressure on his chin. Even then, Suzaku couldn’t meet Lelouch’s eyes, just staring at the wall with Lelouch’s hand on his cheek.

He relaxed when Lelouch stepped away, the cold spot on his cheek disappearing. Lelouch was moving away, which was good. Suzaku had seen what he needed to, and it had been more than he was prepared for. Some part of him had hoped that Lelouch would change appearance, be something other than the emperor that he had killed. He had hoped to run into the ten year old boy from the shrine, the Ashford Academy student. Suzaku would have even been alright with Lelouch as Zero, just not as the emperor.

“I thought…” Suzaku flinched as Lelouch’s voice came from too close to him. He didn’t look away from the wall, closing his eyes as Lelouch continued to talk. “That one night, in the hallway, I thought that you had been able to hear me. You  _reacted_.” Lelouch laughed, the sound hollow. “I hoped that you of all people would be able to see me. What’s the point of being stuck here if I can’t interact with the ones that meant everything to me? It took me this long to be able to move out of the hallway. By the time I’m able to move around the palace you and Nunnally could be gone. If that’s the case, then what’s the point of all of this?! Talk to me!”

Suzaku let his shoulders slump, taking a deep breath before turning to look at Lelouch. “What do you want me to say?”

Lelouch smiled, reaching out to touch Suzaku’s cheek again. “Anything. Just, keep talking.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve been left alone with my own voice. It was my own private hell.”

Lelouch backed towards the covered couch, Suzaku trailing after. He didn’t want to separate the two of them, loathe to give up the cold touch to his cheek that was grounding him in reality.

Lelouch sunk down onto the couch with the same grace that he had had in life. Suzaku remained standing, hating the distance, but it was almost too much. Lelouch just wanted to sit and talk, like he had in the final days leading up to Zero Requiem. It was like nothing had happened, and the disconnect was too much.

Thankfully, Lelouch didn’t push him. Instead, he just sat back and looked Suzaku up and down. Lelouch chuckled, lounging back exactly the way that he used to. “You wear it well, Suzaku.”

“Don’t.”

“A true knight for justice.”

“Lelouch,  _stop_.”

“Still not there yet? Fine. Just…don’t leave, not yet.”  Lelouch reached out to pat the space beside him, his hand lingering in the air like he was afraid that Suzaku would just walk out.

Suzaku didn’t give himself the chance to think about the choice, quickly shucking the cape. Aware of Lelouch’s gaze, he draped the cape over the back of the closest chair. For a moment, he was tempted to sit in that same chair, wanting to be at a little bit of a distance. But it was Lelouch, and he had yet to figure out how to resist Lelouch when he was being himself, some part of him still that ten year old boy that he had met back in the shrine. Just like some part of him was still that bratty kid who could have never taken no for an answer.

He slid into place beside Lelouch, giving himself space. He didn’t want to destroy the illusion by falling through Lelouch. If he didn’t look too hard at the robes, if he stared at Lelouch’s face and ignored that fact that he sometimes got glimpses of the room through it, it was just like their talks in the palace. Of course, those had been more like all out arguments in the beginning, but they had exhausted themselves quickly and fallen back to talking, because talking about anything but Zero Requiem was easier.

He jumped when Lelouch rested a hand on his, just a spot of cold with no pressure; not even when Lelouch curled his fingers. Suzaku gave a shaky sigh, looking up to see Lelouch leaning in close to him. Suzaku felt the cold move, sure that it was Lelouch squeezing his hand. “Just talk.”

Suzaku took a deep breath, and followed his emperor’s order.


	4. Fine Winding Tendrils

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt AU. Takes place after the epilogue of A Place With No Darkness. Title taken from My Skin by Natalie Merchant.

Lelouch panted for breath as he ran, hearing Suzaku shouting at him to keep going. He gritted his teeth, resisting the urge to yell at Suzaku that he was going as fast as he could, but he needed to save his breath. He needed to run as fast as he could to get away from the tribute that was running through the grass behind them.

Lelouch could hear them, could hear Luciano racing after them. The tribute was too close, too close for comfort and they didn’t have anything. No packs, no friends. Their packs had been dropped a long time ago and everyone else was dead.

He yelped as he tripped over something, Lelouch catching himself just before he hit the ground. Lelouch ducked his head, muttering a curse under his breath, only then realizing what he had partially landed on.

It was Shirley.

Lelouch gasped and pushed himself away from the body on the ground, trying not to look at the bloodstain that blossomed on her shirt. He knew it was there anyway, he had seen it happen. It had been his fault and he hadn’t been able to save her.

He felt bile rise at the back of his throat, Lelouch scuttling backwards just to get away from the corpse, only to feel himself bump into something else. He was quick to pull his hand away, Lelouch turning to find Rolo sprawled out on the ground behind him. Rolo’s sightless eyes stared accusingly at Lelouch, because of course he knew that Lelouch had failed him completely. Just like he had failed Shirley, Sophie and Mariel. If he had been faster, or hadn’t been who he was, then maybe they would have still been alive. Maybe if he hadn’t attempted to play along with the game and had just gathered a team for a last ditch effort to get out, they would still be alive.

If he hadn’t gone after Suzaku…

He turned away from Rolo, grateful for the distraction. Lelouch tried his best not to see the bodies that were scattered all over the field between him and where Suzaku was still running towards him. Tried not to see the tributes that were all looking his direction. He could remember them all and how they died, even if they had been trying to kill him. He could remember what they had all looked like during the three days they got to train and get interviewed and what they had looked like when they had been raised into the arena. They might have hated his guts, but they all could have been saved. Which was why saving Suzaku was so important. All of the other tributes had mattered, but Suzaku mattered more. Suzaku was home and safety and the only person that he could trust to guard his back. Suzaku was  _his_ and Lelouch couldn’t bear to lose that.

Suzaku went down with a shout, Lelouch scrambling to his feet and vaulting over Shirley’s body before he had consciously thought about what he was doing. He had to make another jump, landing awkwardly after trying to avoid stepping on Mitsuki and Ichijuku. By the time he had regained his balance, Suzaku was up on his feet, clutching at his arm and limping heavily. Lelouch hopped carefully over Meeya Hillmick, about to make another jump when Suzaku held out one hand. It was an obvious signal for Lelouch to stop, but he couldn’t hear Suzaku speaking even though his friend’s mouth was moving.

Lelouch shook his head, gesturing for Suzaku to speak up only to get a sharp motion to keep running. But that was impossible for him. There were too many bodies, far more than the tributes that had died during the games. Lelouch was sure that the body he could see out of the corner of his eye was Euphemia’s, but he wouldn’t turn to look because he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. Because she had been safe and was supposed to remain that way. Royalty couldn’t be in the Games, it was against the rules.

But their uncle had been in the Games, and that hadn’t stopped Lelouch from being thrown into the Games either. He shouldn’t have been there, but then Suzaku would have been on his own. And Lelouch couldn’t just leave Suzaku.

He clenched his hands into fists and began to pick his way over the bodies, keeping his gaze fixed on Suzaku. His friend wouldn’t be able to walk on his own, so Lelouch would lend him a shoulder until they got a sponsor gift. That was their only hope now, because Luciano was on their trail.

As if the thought had summoned him, Luciano pushed his way out of the grass, Lelouch freezing in fear. He knew that leering expression intimately, knew what it looked like when it was close to his face. Knew what it looked like when Luciano was shoving a sword into his chest.

Lelouch screamed and clutched at his abdomen, surprised by the sharp burst of pain there. He crumpled to his knees, pulling one hand away to stare at the blood that coated it. Lelouch winced and pressed the hand back to his stomach, trying to keep pressure on the wound. But it was bleeding out too fast. Lelouch could feel the blood gushing out from between his fingers as he struggled to his feet. He was hurt, but he had to get to Suzaku. The reason escaped him at the moment, but he had to get there in time or else everything was over.

He managed to shuffle one foot forward before he heard the sound of a gun being cocked.

Lelouch jerked his gaze up from the maze of bodies, watching as Luciano pressed the gun to Suzaku’s side. Suzaku was still oblivious, apparently screaming and trying to limp over to Lelouch even though he couldn’t hear a word that Suzaku was saying. Lelouch wasn’t sure if it was because of the blood loss or the shock.

He opened his mouth to shout out a warning, only to have the sharp bark of the gun shatter the silence.

Suzaku toppled onto the ground face first, Lelouch only barely recognizing that Luciano fell as well. His focus was on Suzaku’s motionless form.

His knees gave out a moment later, Lelouch only noticing because of the jolt of pain it caused. He gritted his teeth and hauled himself forward, having to use one hand. All the while he was hoping that Suzaku would move, that something had happened, that Luciano had missed. He had planned to get them all out, he was smarter than his father. He was angrier than his father. He had more to lose than the emperor of Britannia. All of those things should have been enough to allow him to get them all of the Games and to safety. There were plenty of places to hide on the fringes of the Areas, places where no one checked.

Lelouch pulled himself over to Suzaku’s side, grabbing onto Suzaku’s shoulder and shaking him, ignoring the bloody handprint that he left. He had to get Suzaku up and somewhere they could take care of themselves. Luciano was too close. The bodies were too close. Lelouch couldn’t think with so many eyes on him and the lightheadedness that was coming on. He was sure that his vision was blurring at the edges too, but he didn’t have the time to spare for that. Suzaku was right in front of him and hardly breathing.

And then he wasn’t.

Two cannons went off but Lelouch barely heard them.

He was too busy screaming.

* * *

“Suzaku!” Lelouch jerked upright in bed, nearly throwing the covers off of him because they felt too restrictive. He restrained himself, only because he felt a steady hold on his wrist. Then his attention was on pulling away from whoever had him, because he could still see Luciano leaning over him, he could still feel the sword pushing into him.

Lelouch finally managed to jerk his hand free only to drop it immediately to his stomach to check to make sure that he wasn’t bleeding out. He jerked his shirt up, tracing his shaking fingers over the scar, just to make sure that it was holding. It was just like the thousands of other times he had had the nightmare, which was reassuring. He was safe and nothing had happened to him. At least nothing like the one time he had woken up and torn out the stitches that had still been in his abdomen. Nunnally had told him that it had taken him an hour to calm down, which made sense to him. To wake up from a dream where he had been stabbed only to realize that he was bleeding would be more than enough to freak him out.

He finished his investigation of his scar, tensing at the rustle of covers from beside him. Automatically, he reached out for something to use as a weapon, his hand still groping around for something when he spotted Suzaku propped up on his elbow. Lelouch breathed out a sigh that was more of a sob at the sight of his friend, giving up his search for a weapon to curl closer to him.

Suzaku didn’t budge from his place as Lelouch rucked up his shirt, quickly finding the scar from the bullet wound he had sustained at the end of the games. It was closed and Suzaku was still whole, which meant that Lelouch could continue on just as soon as he regained control of himself.

He flopped back down to his pillows, throwing an arm over his face as he panted for breath. What he really wanted to do was to punch the pillow beside him, but Suzaku was there, holding onto his wrist. It was better that way, to have something grounding him after he had sorted out what had been nightmare and what had been real. After seeing so many dead bodies, it helped to know that there was one person still alive. It was something that Lelouch had to keep reminding himself of, that one out of twenty-three had made it out of the Games with him. He had managed to do that much right. If he had done anything else right after that, Lelouch was just not sure.

Nunnally was the one who had stopped the Games and Schneizel and Odysseus had come up with the governing system of the Areas now that Charles was dead. He had only managed to recover from his injury and get himself elected as viceroy. He was still working on getting over the nightmares from the Games.

They wouldn’t go away, Lelouch was sure of that. He had seen the other victors both before and after he had spent time in the Games. They all still jumped at loud noises, avoided crowds and walked like they expected people to kill them. Lelouch had seen Kanon stalking around the palace at night, looking like he hadn’t slept in a few days. Without fail, Schneizel had followed after his aide to collect him, but that was telling evidence enough. Out of everyone that Lelouch had seen, Kanon was the one victor that had seemed the most put together, and even he fell apart.

Lelouch could easily imagine what the people of Area 11  would think of their chosen viceroy if they saw him now, unable to keep himself from shaking and barely breathing steadily. They would probably try to send him gently out of office, because he was their hero. But they would want someone who could actually function, who wouldn’t need the knight that had been assigned to his Area for support. Lelouch was still not quite able to speak in public without Suzaku by his side, another pair of eyes to watch for any attack that would come.

It was not the image of a strong leader or a prince. It was barely the image of a functioning human being.

He pulled his arm away from his face as the steady hold on his wrist disappeared. Lelouch turned so he could look at Suzaku, taking note of the way that his friend was gently stroking over his pulse point. It took a while for Suzaku to look over at him, probably giving him extra time to come back to himself. Lelouch swallowed and turned onto his side, the motion freeing his wrist entirely from Suzaku’s hold. The lack of contact on his wrist was quickly replaced by Suzaku throwing an arm around Lelouch’s waist, using the hold to pull him close. It was only when Lelouch was tucked up against Suzaku’s front that he allowed himself to relax.

Pulled up close, he could feel Suzaku’s chest move as he breathed and feel the puffs of Suzaku’s breath against his face. Suzaku was alive and still breathing. Lelouch ducked his head, tucking himself into the space underneath Suzaku’s chin. His view of the room was lost, but he knew that Suzaku would continue the scan, Lelouch had determined that they were safe enough anyway.

He felt a hand smooth down his back, more because the contact helped than the motion. Lelouch had woken up from plenty of nightmares or panic attacks in the middle of the street to Nunnally and Euphemia doing the same for him. Suzaku must have picked it up because it looked something like normal, and blending in was important. Blending in meant you wouldn’t be spotted by the other tributes.

“Hey.” He was jostled lightly, only then realizing how hard he had been clutching at Suzaku. Lelouch let go with a mumbled apology, Suzaku simply responding with, “Clear.”

Lelouch nodded, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath. That was the difference between Suzaku and the others. They tried, but they would always ask what had happened or what had set him off. Most of the time, Lelouch didn’t know or it had been so small that he felt embarrassed to admit it. Someone appeared in his peripheral vision too fast or someone moved their arm. It all depended on whether he saw it as a threat or not, which was hard to explain to anyone else. He was very much aware that he was no longer in the Games, he was just waiting for his mind to catch up on that point. He didn’t need to be clung to or reassured that everything would be alright, because that just made it worse. When he was ready, he would reach out for someone, and not before.

A hand worked its way into his hair, Lelouch leaning back into the soft scrape of fingers against his scalp. That seemed to be the final thing on whatever mental checklist that Suzaku had going, because his friend finally relaxed too.

Suzaku ducked his head, pausing to kiss Lelouch’s forehead before wiggling down so they could look each other in the eye. “I’ll keep watch.”

The offer was tempting, because Lelouch knew that he wouldn’t just be dropping back off to sleep. He would probably toss and turn for hours before he managed to convince himself that everything was fine. A walk out around the town would help, but he didn’t want to have to deal with people asking what was wrong. He didn’t feel up to dealing with people. The better thing for him to do would be to curl around Suzaku and trying to get some sleep. Nightmares or not, he was still the viceroy of Area 11, he had things to do. As did Suzaku.

“No.” His voice crackled over the word, Lelouch pressing his forehead against Suzaku’s. “No. I’m…I’m back.”

Fine and alright didn’t work for them anymore, because neither he nor Suzaku were ever fine or alright anymore. They existed and were working their way back to living.

Suzaku nodded. “I’ll watch until you sleep then.”

Lelouch muttered his own reply, allowing Suzaku to shift them until he was comfortable. His head was tucked back under Suzaku’s chin with Suzaku’s hands on the back of his head and his lower back. It was a tight hold, but Lelouch was sure that Suzaku would let him go as soon as he started squirming, not like the others. They never let him escape, never let him back up and just breathe until he remembered where he was.

He nuzzled a little closer as thanks, getting a soft hum of recognition. Feeling a bit daring, Lelouch tilted his head up to kiss Suzaku’s neck.

That was still new between the two of them, the careful maneuvering to something that might be called a relationship. But even that was hard, because Lelouch didn’t want to get too close in case something else happened. The Games had taken what little sense of security that he had away.

Suzaku’s hold on him tightened a fraction, Lelouch feeling a kiss pressed to the top of his head. “I’m here.”

Lelouch shivered, reaching up to grab handfuls of Suzaku’s shirt. “I know.”

“I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“Thank you.”


	5. This Distance Between Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the prompt Valentine's Day. Part of my Hogwarts AU where Lelouch attends Hogwarts and Suzaku is apprenticed at the Kururugi Shrine in Japan. Takes place in Lelouch's 7th year.

Excitement was not foreign to Hogwarts, but it did come less often with Harry Potter and his class safely graduated. The only thing close to excitement that the students got was when Milly Ashford decided to throw one of her all day games, usually just after exams or in the  middle of the slow grind of school. Quidditch came close, but it was the general consensus that the teams were lackluster this year, probably because they were nothing on the old teams that had made up the glory days. The houses still cheered dutifully, but the games weren’t quite the huge draw that they had been, not even when Milly painted her friends in their house colors and sent them up to the stands to cheer.

If Lelouch was reading the situation right, most of the students were actively avoiding excitement. And they were well within their rights to. The memorials to the fallen were still fresh, as were the reminders. Those that had died had been older siblings or cousins, or they had grown up on the stories of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and what he had done. Even dead he was something to be feared, because he had managed to come back to life once, what was to stop him from coming back again?

Lelouch tended to ignore those students, mostly because he thought they were idiots. If they were that worried about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s return, then they could read the reports given by the survivors of the Battle of Hogwarts. Everything was spelled out there. They could stop annoying him by worrying in his presence; especially when he had bigger things on his mind.

He poked at his toast, pointedly ignoring the looks that Euphemia and Nunnally were giving him. He knew what he looked like, but he was beyond caring. It was two days over Suzaku’s scheduled report time, meaning that something had gone horribly wrong with his trip.

According to their last talk by fire a week ago, Suzaku had been going down to the Ehime Prefecture to check on reports of a Basan. Suzaku had reassured him that it was just for training purposes and that the creature was essentially harmless.

The problem was that Lelouch didn’t believe him. He had seen for himself the kinds of things that could happen on easy missions, Suzaku was covered in the scars from them. Some crazed madman had even shot Suzaku during the summer when they had sought out Aosaginohi. Lelouch didn’t like to think of that night, of pressing his hands against Suzaku’s sides as the glowing herons had looked on. It had taken what seemed like hours for someone to come and find them, and even then the doctor had said that it had been touch and go for a while. Lelouch had spent the rest of his summer break in Japan practically glued to Suzaku’s side, only backing off when Suzaku had promised to make regular reports on his trips.

And Suzaku had been good about it, right up until this trip.

Technically, Lelouch was old enough to Apparate to Japan, but he would just end up at the Kururugi Shrine because he didn’t know exactly where Suzaku had gone. And, if he Apparated, he would just be stuck waiting at the shrine until Suzaku came back. It was a little better than waiting for his boyfriend at Hogwarts, but not my much.

He flicked his toast to the other side of his plate, aware that Nunnally and Euphemia’s looks of concern had turned into a glare. He couldn’t care at the moment, because all he wanted to do was immerse himself in the library and look up everything he could on the Basan, which wouldn’t be much. The Japanese tended to keep close tabs on their mythical creatures and the information that was let out about them, mostly because some of them toed the line of what the British would define as creature and ghost. It was a complicated system that Lelouch didn’t have the time for. He was exhausted, he was stressed and out of his mind with worry.

Worst of all, he could feel everyone staring at him. As soon as he left for his first class, the questions would probably start. The first one would be if he had broken up with his mysterious boyfriend. It was not a question he wanted to be fielding when he was torn between giving up and sitting by the fireplace in case Suzaku called, or focusing completely on his classes to distract himself. Either way, he would get a lecture from his sister and his cousin from the way they were leaning towards him, another thing that Lelouch didn’t want to deal with if at all possible. They both understood how he got when Suzaku went off on a mission, so why couldn’t they leave him alone?

He was saved from any lecture at a shout from the end of the Great Hall.

The hall went quiet, a strange thing since it rarely happened save for when the first years were paraded in. Lelouch frowned and turned on his seat, sitting up straighter when he recognized the lone owl that was flying over. All the other mail owls had come in and a late one meant bad weather or bad news. Students were already checking the ceiling, but it was just as clear as it had been all through breakfast.

Lelouch didn’t bother to look up at the ceiling, because he was too busy tracking the owl. He  _knew_  that shape and flight pattern, it was Gawain. He had sent the owl to Japan with Suzaku’s Valentine’s Day presents before Suzaku had left. The bird had gotten there because Suzaku had told him about it and had kept Gawain overnight because of a storm that the owl had flown through.

That Gawain was coming back meant news, which was always better than nothing. Lelouch quickly cleared a place for the owl to land, watching as Gawain flew in for an inelegant landing.  Lelouch reached out to steady the bird, giving Gawain an affectionate pet. The owl had flown all the way from Japan and deserved the rest.

He untied the letter and the package, pushing his uneaten toast toward the owl. Gawain jumped on the food, tearing at it eagerly as Lelouch turned his attention to the letter.

He breathed out a sigh of relief when he recognized Suzaku’s handwriting. His moment of rest didn’t last long, impatience getting the better of him. Lelouch tore open the envelope, quickly unfolding the letter.

_Lelouch,_

_I know you want to kill me because this is late, but I swear that there is a good reason for that. I survived my trip and the Basan was just as peaceful as I told you it would be. We spent some extra days around the area, just to make sure that I could identify the wildlife there. Apparently all of their wizards are still in the early stages of training. It looks like I’ll be lent out to another family for the foreseeable future, which just means I’ll be more busy. The good news is that Kaguya is almost done with her training, so some of my workload will be going away._

_Try and contact me when you get this, but I warn you that we’ve been redoing the wards so I might be away or too exhausted to move. Either way, I had to let you know that I was still alive so you’d stop driving everyone crazy with your worry._

_Also, I sent along a small something. I should have waited for White Day, but I couldn’t help myself._

Lelouch paused in his reading to open the small package, hearing the gasps from beside him as he pulled out two curled feathers. Lelouch smiled and drew his fingers up the shaft, watching as the barbs were compressed. It was easier to see the pattern on the feathers too, the red, orange and yellow leaking into the green, blue and gold eyespots at the end of each feather.

He released his hold on the feather, watching it fluff out again before he pulled his hand back,.

_Lancelot is molting again, and very miserable because of it. I would have sent him with Gawain and this, but he refuses to fly. At least I was able to coax these two feathers out of him. Don’t worry, new ones are already growing back. You’ll probably get your ‘official’ present by phoenix._

_Please thank Nunnally and Euphemia for the sweets. Kaguya and I split them evenly, because she hasn’t been spoiled like I have with treats. I did hide the chocolate frogs you sent me though, and you will be proud of me. I’m exercising restraint and not pigging out on them. Also, tell Nunnally thank you for the charmed braclet. I recognize half of those charms as hers. Tell her that I wore it on my latest trip and it was actually helpful._

_And thank you for your half of the charms, as well as the scarf you sent me. It might be a little late for it, but I find myself wearing it around the house sometimes when it’s chilly in the morning. Kaguya says it matches my eyes. I just think that you want to see me decked out in your house colors. Whatever the case, I love it._

_Good luck with your classes. And until you can make it out here again, I love you._

_Suzaku_

Lelouch chuckled to himself, tucking the letter away in the box.

His fingers brushed against something else that was tucked away in the box, Lelouch having to dig a small piece of paper out from under the feathers. The back was facing up, another message from Suzaku scrawled on the back in his messy handwriting.

_Just so you know, I_ really _like the scarf._

Lelouch flipped the picture over, nearly yelping and slamming it face down on the table again, but he resisted.

Everyone was too distracted by the phoenix feathers to notice how flustered he had gotten. Euphemia was even lifting one up to show a group of curious Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, keeping it carefully away from their reaching fingers.

He glanced around nervously, making sure that the others were distracted before flipping over the picture again. Even prepared, he couldn’t help the blush that came at the sight of Suzaku smiling back at him. It wasn’t even the alluring smile that Suzaku used when he was trying to seduce Lelouch. It was the one that he greeted Lelouch with when Lelouch first got to the shrine and when they woke up in the mornings. Wrapped around his neck was the scarf that Lelouch had sent him, the image of Suzaku burying his nose in it for a moment.

Then the image shifted to when Lelouch had taken it out. Suzaku lifted his face from the scarf, the corner of his mouth twitching a little bit as he tried not to smirk. Lelouch knew that expression well from childhood, it meant that Suzaku was plotting something that would end badly for Lelouch. Sure enough, Suzaku moved the comforter he was snuggled under just enough to show that he was wearing nothing but the scarf.

Lelouch swallowed and stuffed the photo into the pocket of his robes, He could just imagine how Suzaku would laugh when Lelouch yelled at him for sending the picture. And, while Suzaku would apologize, he wouldn’t be sorry at all.


End file.
